Someone asked me recently if loss was easier the second time around. I wasn’t prepared to answer then, but after some months of reflection, I’ll attempt to describe my experience now. It’s important to think about multiple experiences of loss in terms of compounded grief because each subsequent experience of loss or grief shortens theContinue reading “Compounded Grief is like a Long Hike”
Author Archives: sierrakellen
My Interview on Midday Michelle’s Wine Wednesday, Episode 68: Sierra’s Story
My dear friend Michelle and host of Good Day Stateline here in Rockford, Illinois invited me to join her for an episode of “Wine Wednesday” a weekly Facebook live podcast. She interviewed me about my blog and why I decided to write about our journey with miscarriage. I hope you enjoy it!
When the diagnosis drops..
The day I had been waiting for was drawing near. The day I took my last blood test and the results read “negative” for hCG, confirming that I had not developed cancer as a result of my molar pregnancy in November. After six long months I finally started to allow myself to hope. To allowContinue reading “When the diagnosis drops..”
A Due Date Reflection
Today, June 4th, 2021, I would have been 40 weeks pregnant. A timeline that generally speaking would mark our baby’s arrival into the world. Unfortunately, because there was no heartbeat on our first ultrasound, we never received an official due date from our doctor. As time passed, I was finding it hard to honor theContinue reading “A Due Date Reflection”
Reflections on Bereaved Mother’s Day
My chest felt tight all day. My mind fluttered from one thought to the next about miscarriage and motherhood and how this is not how any of it should go. I wanted to distract myself, but knew I needed to make space to reflect and allow my conflicted emotions to surface. Tears finally made theirContinue reading “Reflections on Bereaved Mother’s Day”
If Walls Could Talk..
The month of March was consumed with the purchase and renovation of our first home. Although this is a really exciting time for Jeff and I, it has also felt as if a dark cloud hung over the process for me. This isn’t what I imagined for our family this spring. We should be preparingContinue reading “If Walls Could Talk..”
Learning to let it ride: staying in the moment when triggers sneak up on me
Lately I’ve been thoroughly distracted by dreaming about our new paint colors, flooring, and the puppy we can get now that we have a home of our own. Work and home organizing projects have kept me busy enough not to dwell long on our miscarriage or the fact that we cannot try to get pregnantContinue reading “Learning to let it ride: staying in the moment when triggers sneak up on me”
When words hurt: What I found hurtful from people who didn’t know what to say and how to fix it.
I think it’s important to share what people said after our miscarriage that I found unhelpful, and even at times hurtful. Now, before you start feeling guilty, I want you to know that prior to being the one having the miscarriage, I made these mistakes too. They are easy to do, and that’s exactly why IContinue reading “When words hurt: What I found hurtful from people who didn’t know what to say and how to fix it.”
Quick Life Update
I’m working hard on a post about what not to say and what replacements are more helpful, but it’s a delicate topic and taking more emotional energy than expected, so in the meantime, here’s a little update: I went to my January blood test on the 23rd and my hCG levels have stayed at zeroContinue reading “Quick Life Update”
How to be a better friend to someone grieving
What I’ve learned from our miscarriage is how to be a better friend to those navigating grief. My teachers were some of my dearest friends and family members who showed up for us. So I thought you might want to benefit from their wisdom too. (I’ll tackle what not to say in another post.) It’sContinue reading “How to be a better friend to someone grieving”
