Miscarriage a Year Later: Lessons Learned in the Waiting

I went in for surgery one year ago yesterday. My OB/GYN performed a D&C because my body would not miscarry naturally (see first three blog posts for our full story). Due to our molar pregnancy followed by my reconstructive hip surgery this October, we are still waiting for the all-clear to try again for aContinue reading “Miscarriage a Year Later: Lessons Learned in the Waiting”

Compounded Grief is like a Long Hike

Someone asked me recently if loss was easier the second time around. I wasn’t prepared to answer then, but after some months of reflection, I’ll attempt to describe my experience now. It’s important to think about multiple experiences of loss in terms of compounded grief because each subsequent experience of loss or grief shortens theContinue reading “Compounded Grief is like a Long Hike”

Learning to let it ride: staying in the moment when triggers sneak up on me

Lately I’ve been thoroughly distracted by dreaming about our new paint colors, flooring, and the puppy we can get now that we have a home of our own. Work and home organizing projects have kept me busy enough not to dwell long on our miscarriage or the fact that we cannot try to get pregnantContinue reading “Learning to let it ride: staying in the moment when triggers sneak up on me”

When words hurt: What I found hurtful from people who didn’t know what to say and how to fix it.

 I think it’s important to share what people said after our miscarriage that I found unhelpful, and even at times hurtful. Now, before you start feeling guilty, I want you to know that prior to being the one having the miscarriage, I made these mistakes too. They are easy to do, and that’s exactly why IContinue reading “When words hurt: What I found hurtful from people who didn’t know what to say and how to fix it.”

How to be a better friend to someone grieving

What I’ve learned from our miscarriage is how to be a better friend to those navigating grief. My teachers were some of my dearest friends and family members who showed up for us. So I thought you might want to benefit from their wisdom too. (I’ll tackle what not to say in another post.) It’sContinue reading “How to be a better friend to someone grieving”