Compounded Grief is like a Long Hike

Someone asked me recently if loss was easier the second time around. I wasn’t prepared to answer then, but after some months of reflection, I’ll attempt to describe my experience now. It’s important to think about multiple experiences of loss in terms of compounded grief because each subsequent experience of loss or grief shortens theContinue reading “Compounded Grief is like a Long Hike”

When the diagnosis drops..

The day I had been waiting for was drawing near. The day I took my last blood test and the results read “negative” for hCG, confirming that I had not developed cancer as a result of my molar pregnancy in November. After six long months I finally started to allow myself to hope. To allowContinue reading “When the diagnosis drops..”

Learning to let it ride: staying in the moment when triggers sneak up on me

Lately I’ve been thoroughly distracted by dreaming about our new paint colors, flooring, and the puppy we can get now that we have a home of our own. Work and home organizing projects have kept me busy enough not to dwell long on our miscarriage or the fact that we cannot try to get pregnantContinue reading “Learning to let it ride: staying in the moment when triggers sneak up on me”

When words hurt: What I found hurtful from people who didn’t know what to say and how to fix it.

 I think it’s important to share what people said after our miscarriage that I found unhelpful, and even at times hurtful. Now, before you start feeling guilty, I want you to know that prior to being the one having the miscarriage, I made these mistakes too. They are easy to do, and that’s exactly why IContinue reading “When words hurt: What I found hurtful from people who didn’t know what to say and how to fix it.”

How to be a better friend to someone grieving

What I’ve learned from our miscarriage is how to be a better friend to those navigating grief. My teachers were some of my dearest friends and family members who showed up for us. So I thought you might want to benefit from their wisdom too. (I’ll tackle what not to say in another post.) It’sContinue reading “How to be a better friend to someone grieving”

How it all started… or ended. Our Miscarriage story: Part 3

When we left the hospital after my D&C procedure, Jeff drove me to my parent’s house to recover. My sister came to keep me company and evidently I was still a little high from the pain killers because I vaguely remember her laughing at me. She is a good nurse, waiting on me hand andContinue reading “How it all started… or ended. Our Miscarriage story: Part 3”

How it all started… or ended. Our Miscarriage Story: Part 2

The D&C Jeff took me in to the hospital, we got checked in and brought to the pre-op room for my D&C (Dilation and curettage). I changed into the ridiculous gown and socks and sat back on to the bed. They put in my IV, gave me some warming blankets and the weight of itContinue reading “How it all started… or ended. Our Miscarriage Story: Part 2”